Ang kapal ng legs ni Bherly

Kagabi, sa Gabi ng Lagim ni Jessica Soho (KMJS) kung saan nakakita ako ng pugot na ulo sa kalsada kung saan sumasayaw ang isang babae at may isang lalaking naka-jacket na pugot ang ulo ay lumalakad sa likod niya na hindi niya nakita ngunit nakunan ng video at naging viral pa...ay nagpa-alala sa akin ng kondisyon ng Pilipinas kung saan namumuno o naghahari ang kababalaghan laban sa katotohanan. In English, something outlandish, bizarre, unexplainable  or mythological is the fodder for media and what actually sells. We have a robust market for scary stuff. Case in point, the recent success of Shake Rattle and Roll  the movie was a spin-off of this TV News/Documentary Program.

Early this morning, at the ungodly hour of 2 am (don't tell me this isn't ungodly because it is, at least for sane regular people like me who give reverence to peace and quiet at the right time) our resident houseboy turned unlikely beneficiary of my sister/doctor was full blast with his celfone alarm which woke me up. I thought because this isn't the first time it happened, I would reprimand him. So I went to straight to his room initially to find out what was causing disturbance to my peaceful slumber. I found him lying asleep on his bed with his charged celfone by his head. When I woke him up, he said it was his alarm. I asked him to turn off the loud celfone. He said it was his alarm. Anyway, I went back to my room. When I heard the confounded sound again, I decided to to go back and take the celfone from his possession and told him he could have it in the morning maybe by asking for it in my room.

So I went back to my room and worked on my computer table. After a few minutes, I heard a loud knocking at the door. Since I locked the door, the knocking became persistent and it was coming from Bherly, our housemaid, the boy's mother demanding for the celfone to be returned at once. She kept shouting and knocking without heed to my request of him asking for it politely. And when I didn't open the door, she immediately went to Alexis my sister's room and asked for assistance.

Next person barging on my door was Alexis himself. Without asking in a civil way, just like Bherly, she just kept shouting and knocking loudly at my door. Eventually, I opened the door and handed the blasted celfone to her. As usual, she gave her litany of complaints about me and Macoy but having nothing at all to do with the current problem at hand.

At face value, this case has already been solved. Closed. Kaput. Nope.

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Just like with the problem of this country being stuck or immersed in myth, so it is that our so-called custodians, leaders, teachers in society or the community are consumed by their own self-belief despite professing faith and loyalty to God and this is not progress at all. Last night's program with Jessica Soho with the government allowing a British firm to illegally mine our valued resources causing an entire village to lose their own valuable resources like water and land and vegetation is like my neighbor undermining my progress regardless of what that might be. I am essentially surrounded by idiots, whether inside the house or outside of it. 

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As a side note, my Filipino idiotic teacher in College Jess Ramos once put his dick next to my butt at the College Campus CASAA to make me feel his manhood. I did feel it rise and was taken aback. I did not look back to see his face but I knew it was him. He obviously was enamored by me. I have to admit and  because it is my nature to "love" my teachers because up until now, I consider myself to be a real true blue student, not just a true blue Theresian, I also appreciated his class. But because in hindsight, I also recall his very unbecoming ways, throwing chalk directly to students with the intent of probably throwing it at me, etcetera...this person is a real dork. 

Fast forward to today, he is still doing things behind my back...this time right outside our house doing really deliberate disturbing stuff trying in his mind to protect his so-called chosen community comprised of people from here and not from here or just him for reasons unbeknownst to me.

This is its chosen method of becoming "close" to me. It does not know the normal way of approaching people and it speaks volumes of the way people, particularly Filipinos communicate or get in touch with others...through underhanded ways. Filipinos are generally soft-spoken and gentle in nature but this cowardly "trait" is not at all gentlemanly. It is downright crooked and unethical. Forget the comment of Filipino men not being "real men". Just don't tell me I cannot be offended or the least bit physically disturbed in the sanctuary of my only place of residence. If I say Fuck You, he'll take it literally, so I won't.

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Bonus round:

If you know him or ever had him as a teacher, you'll notice how he walks...he has an unusual gait...very faggoty. Maybe he presents himself as gay to the world but deep inside, since he really wants to fuck me at the very least, he considers himself exhibiting femininity in his outward demeanor but not exhibiting toxic masculinity (which to him would be more acceptable or easily digestible for me). 

Maybe not but he is Pure Toxic not just in my mind but in my daily experience. Pure Toxicity is the Filipino Spirit

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Chapter 2

What makes me tick?

All my life, I have been plagued by bad role models in my life from parents who were emotional deadbeats to teachers who show no mercy to siblings who just don’t care but I appear to be a standout in the world, the world’s No. 1 Trooper. I have my act all together unlike most Filipinos the world knows about. But what makes me tick? I believe in the power of entertainment to sustain me because I grew up with the TV set as my babysitter. Looking back, now that I am already 61, having mass media with all the bad news on tv and junk programming we see on a regular basis, things could have gone in two directions. Fortunately, I made it work for me.

Actually I am very fortunate that my current programming aligns with my being. It hasn't always been easy...(trying to understand and digest everything at an early age with no real world knowledge or application) but the more I live with intention, the more I understand about life and living. All the good movies I didn't understand or consider "truthful"...they all have pockets of truth in them, wisdom you can either draw or apply from life. They do. If you watch Kung Fu Panda for example, it's not just a cute fat panda (the world's most revered animal) rendered in amazing 3D animation all set as a kid's ubiquitous marketing toy. It teaches and sometimes quite pointedly that being your unique self not really built for being the most fit individual ready to fight is enough if you have the proper mental set. It's not just physique. It's your mental training. Let's take another example. If you watch a violent movie for example, they're not just there to satisfy man's basal desire for violence or watching a movie laden with sex is not just there to satisfy your sexual pleasures. They both do but these movies work because they not only address the "human" in us...they also cater to the "human condition" and the more you actually live, the less pretentious you become. As the Stoics keep reminding us, it's not what happens to your life. It's how you respond to these events. Watching movies if you have no access to real life is just as good as experiencing its lessons. Nobody beats real life experiences in teaching you life lessons but since art is an imitation of life and you get your best art from watching the movies (which in my case is true), I get lessons from simply watching our so-called modern form of entertainment. It's how you make the movies you watch work for you and not be totally consumed by them.

TV has been integral to my childhood. My sister referred to her large collection of books as "friends". Without being delusional about it, for some reason, the TV characters I grew up with are people I consider as friends, having no close ones growing up. They acted as surrogate friends.